How to control emotions: anger, frustration, agony?

Anger is the base emotion. Frustration and Agony are the derived emotions from Anger. So I will talk about Anger and probably rest will be covered automatically. Question is why does one become angry? From my experience almost in all the situations one becomes angry only when we have expectations which are not met. These expectations can be from colleague, relative, friend, or even with oneself. So the simple way to control the Anger is not to have expectations.

Come on… it is impractical to not have expectations from anyone.

Well next best thing that can be done is FORGIVE. One has to understand that everyone is human and it is possible to make mistakes. So if we are able to forgive people for their mistakes then Anger can be avoided.

Forgiving others is important however it is even more important to forgive oneself, if an individual is not able to forgive himself then also he becomes angry, irritating.

How to deal with “I”?

Most important step to remove “I” is to become aware about it. Most people are not aware about it and hence are not able to work on it.

There is a difference between Ego and Self respect, usually people consider a attack on self respect while it may just be hitting individuals Ego. Best judge also is own self, as far as we are truthful to ourselves.

One of the ways to deal with “I” is to remove it and replace it with “we” or “us”. What it means is that keep one self away from emotions like ego and proud. I remember a small incident someone told. There was a person went to saint and asked “Sir, I want to be Happy. What should I do?” saint looked at him smiled and said remove “I” and “want” and the only thing remain will be happiness.

One important aspect to look at dealing with “I'” is that if you are hurt because of some else is using too much of “I” centric statements, then there are good chances that the reason you are hurt is because there is a strong “I” in you.