Most important step to remove “I” is to become aware about it. Most people are not aware about it and hence are not able to work on it.
There is a difference between Ego and Self respect, usually people consider a attack on self respect while it may just be hitting individuals Ego. Best judge also is own self, as far as we are truthful to ourselves.
One of the ways to deal with “I” is to remove it and replace it with “we” or “us”. What it means is that keep one self away from emotions like ego and proud. I remember a small incident someone told. There was a person went to saint and asked “Sir, I want to be Happy. What should I do?” saint looked at him smiled and said remove “I” and “want” and the only thing remain will be happiness.
One important aspect to look at dealing with “I'” is that if you are hurt because of some else is using too much of “I” centric statements, then there are good chances that the reason you are hurt is because there is a strong “I” in you.
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ReplyDeletei have felt dis since a long long loooooong time .. dat i have a strong "i" .. defintly not ego .... more in terms of self obsession and pride.... n i noticd "to stay away from pride" up dere.. so..
ReplyDeletefrom d vry litl experience dat i hav... i hav cm to strongly believe in 3 things..
1."let nature tks its course".. if dere is smthing dat one needs to force on himself... it eidr means its not d thing for him( well evryone can do evrything n anything .. but dat doesnt mean evryone shud do evrythin ... diff things suit diff characters/prsonalities) or he is just not ready yet( dis is d most imp thing for kids n teenagrs n smtyms adults as well .. smtyms d bst decision to tk is not to tk a decision n postpone it till one has more fcts n is btr equippd to mk a choice..).. so one shud stop doin it ..even if it is all he knows and stopping now means making a complete career switch... its btr l8 den nvr...cause d bottmlyn is one can do nythin if one luvs what one does...
to be clear dis shud not be confusd wid not being ambitious n leaving it all to fate/destiny...
having a vision n wrkin to try to achieve it and "wantin" a vision r 2 diff things .. i guess.....
so dis automatically removes d "want"...
2. as long as one can realise evryone is human n bound to mk mistakes ... dat nbdy is ideal .. n d bst one can do is incessantly try to get as close to ideal as possible .. n try his bst to mk odr around do d sam ..... ready to face dat dey may fail ... n still keep on tryin ... & if one can frgiv odrs ( n much more imp oneslf) .. one can nvr gt hrt/angry/frustratd/depressd...
3. if one givs his bst shot .. mks d bst of evrything one has at d tym .. he has no regrets/guilt/remorse....
hence d "only thing dat remains is happiness".......
so my real question is...
is "I" really a problem if one can keep it under chk... widout mixin self respect wid ego.... if one not only genuinely believes understands & realises d 3 things above, but also can actually apply dem in real life evry single time naturally widout needing to impose dem just cause one knows dey r d right way to do life..
den IS IT REALLY NECESSARy TO REMOVE "i" ..IF one has ALLREADY REMOVD "WANT"... moreovr r "I" n happiness evn connectd as mentioned above .... as i feel smthing contraictry..
cause frankly speakin in my vry vry vry small life experience i have nvr felt d need to remove "I" to be happy/sccessful...(notice i din use "want" i usd "be".. ).... as a mtr of fact i tk pride in my "I" ..... when evrythin else falls apart its d only thing dat is always dere...... "I" n "followin my instincts n beliefs" r what always gt me thru thik n thin ... dat keep me hppy no mtr what hppns....
m i wrong??? .. is it jst cause i havnt seen it all???.......
d second very imp thing which i wantd to ask about last yr as well.... WHAT DOES
"remove it and replace it with “we” or “us” ""
ACTUALLY MEAN..N how to do it...N HOW DOES REPLACING "I" WID "WE" CHNG NYTHIN....HOW IS "WE" NOT ANODR FORM OF "I" ..where its not prsnl ego/self-respect ... bt ego/honour of d group ...
Thanks a lot for posting this, I see a deep thinking that you have been going through.
ReplyDeleteso I will pick your two questions and try to put across my point of view:
so my real question is...
is "I" really a problem if one can keep it under chk...
The if condition that is applied to keep 'I' in check is the key. Now this will really go deep, ask a question to yourself "Who is this I we are talking about, is it body, organs feel, thinking? what is this I?"
Another way of making the same point is as far as one will have a feeling of 'I' there will be need of separation from others, and will be a possibility to feel proud, jealous, disappointed etc. please that these feelings may or may not be related to want but just the repercussion of one's achievement, comparison because 'I' is separated from others. if one is able to keep a chk as you mentioned on I and does not get into these feelings, I think he has removed I.
d second very imp thing which i wantd to ask about last yr as well.... WHAT DOES
"remove it and replace it with “we” or “us” ""
'we', 'us', or 'any kind group' is just another connotation of "I". as far there is a separation (b/w I or you, we or they) one will have to deal with these emotions which would lead to agony and unhappiness.
Objective is to achieve oneness and not create groups.
I hope this helps.
Thanks
Nitin
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ReplyDeletefor d 1st querry :-
ReplyDeletesince d only comparison is wid d ideal human bieng so dere is no jealousy .. plus since one is ready to face failure and accept it n giv it( tryin to be ideal ) a btr shot nxt wid dis newly earnd knowledge.... so dere r no disappointmnts... plus d ability to forgive mks him like disappointmnt proof... so d only thing is separation which must be dere .. its natural...cause of d biggst paradox "evryhuman bieng is unique.. evrything is unique if we look closely nuff... n den evryone is exactly d same if we look closely nuff"".. once again d key word is CHECK.. keepin a chk on it.. so dat it doesnt go off BALANCE..
so in a nutshell .. self obsession wid self pride underchk combined wid all what i said above doesnt cm under"I" ...
reagardin d 2nd query...: oh!!! we/us as in we human biengs.. we living biengs.... we evrythin ...... oh!! i gt it now.. imisundrstood it fr smthin else...
thnx
abishek